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Creating my ideal figure, one workout and one meal at a time.

Monday, October 31, 2011

If--

Why is it that moms always know exactly the right thing to say?  My mom is particularly talented at this; it would seem that raising 6 kids, teaching special needs students, and teaching piano have given her a lot of experience in giving pep talks over the years!

When I called my mom yesterday to tell her my results, she shared with me a poem by one of her favorite authors.  The poem, as I interpret it, is about striving to be the best that you can be, while maintaining your humility.  It's about facing the constant cycle of building, tearing down, then rebuilding of one's character, and doing so with courage and virtue.  As my mom pointed out, the line about meeting with Triumph and Disaster are particularly relevant for competitive athletes ;)  I thought it was a really inspiring poem, so I thought I would share it.


If--
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

(by Rudyard Kipling)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Results

*Sigh*  Well, there's always next time, right?

In my Fitness Model class I didn't even crack top 5, and in Figure I placed 4th (out of 5 lol).  I stuck around afterwards to get feedback from the judges, and I knew before he even said the words: "you just weren't lean enough".

I knew this would be a problem for Figure, and didn't have many hopes of winning that category - especially competing in the Open division.  I was, however, a bit surprised and disappointed that I didn't do better in the Fitness Model.  The top 3 (back row) were the leanest on-stage, so that made sense to me, but of the remaining girls (front row), I thought I held up well against at least a few of them.  One third of our mark is based on presentation, so maybe that was it?


I promise to post more pictures in the coming days.  Just wanted to get a couple up right away.

Ok, so a more thorough breakdown now.

Things I was happy with:
-My tan!  Wow, I was so so so much happier with my tan this year.  No stressing about it backstage, it didn't rub off, and it was nice and smooth and even.
-My hair.  Love the colour, love the style.  
-My suits.  There are a couple things I'd change (the brown of the figure suit didn't show as well as it could have, and the top of my volcano suit could have done more for my ladies!)  But overall, I still love them.  They're my babies :)
-The process on the day of.  I felt prepared, I was all packed, I had practiced my routines and posing, I wasn't starving all day, and my time management was decent.
-The food!  No, not the after party lol.  I feel like I ate enough food so that I was able to keep my energy up, but not so much that I was too "full". 

Things I wasn't happy with:
-My makeup.  When the girl was here to do it, I asked her to match the colour of my tan, and she did.  But, it looked like crap.  It was blotchy and muddy looking (the face you see in these pictures is me with no foundation on at all.  I rubbed it all off backstage.  Believe me, my naked skin looked better than what was going on there before!).  The eyes and lips looked nice, but in the end were a bit too severe for the show. And the darn fake eyelashes she put on me were poking me all night!  
-My posing.  I think I could have done a better job of my front pose (especially for Fitness.... I looked too tense next to the other girls).  My face also started spasming at one point, for no apparent reason lol.  Maybe I need to practice holding my smile more?
-My placement.  Obviously ;)

So, this leaves me with the question of whether or not I should still compete next weekend.  This is a bigger, more serious show, and all the big kids will be out to play... and win.  Knowing that there's only so much I can do to lean out more this week, do I still go through the process (and pay all the money!), knowing that I'll almost certainly place last in Figure, and probably won't do so well in Fitness either?  I'm hopeful that if I make a couple changes to my "look" and presentation, I may do better in Fitness, but who knows.  It's something I'll have to discuss with my coach this week.  And my mom.  I know she really wanted to see me compete, and I really don't want to let her down.  Then again, if she wait for the next one then maybe I can show her a trophy too!

All in all, still a valuable experience.  I've learned so much more about my body and diet/training, my posing is that much better, I'm confident in my tanning now, and I have a better idea of what works for makeup and suit selection.  And if nothing else, this has lit a fire under my butt to work that much harder for the next show!  I never want to experience that feeling of defeat and failure again.  Never.  So I've just got to hold on to that feeling and run with it.  

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Show Day - In Memoriam

Last year at this time, my dad was in the hospital and we weren't sure how long he had left to live.  I was struggling with the question of whether I should do the show, or go home to be with him in his final moments.  In the end, I decided to finish what I'd started, because (anyone who knew my dad knows this) he hated when people fussed over him, and would have been FURIOUS if I'd given up on something I'd worked so hard on for his sake.  He sacrificed a lot for me and my sisters, and I know that's the way he preferred it.

That whole day I was a mixed bag of emotions - on the one hand, I was happy and excited to compete.  On the other hand, I was scared and nervous that I would miss seeing my dad one last time.  I remember thinking that the day could not be finished soon enough so that I could get into the car and drive to see him.  The stage, the posing, the placements... all of it became something I just needed to get out of the way - an obstacle in my race against time.  But you know, it was a useful lesson and the experience helped me to put things into perspective.  In the end, this was a show that I did for fun; this was not life or death, and there really are so many more important things in life than how hard you're flexing your legs on-stage, or whether your tan smudged a bit on the back.  Maybe not coincidentally, that thought process was very helpful in relaxing my stage nerves.

I mentioned before that I had a really powerful experience this summer while watching the sun rise over a volcano during my trip to Hawaii.  I had deliberated what my true purpose in this life is, and while the sun filled me with a sense of greatness and hope, the mountain reminded me that whatever issues I was facing at the time were small and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.  It emphasized that this competition is not the be-all end-all of my life or career - it's a tool, and one of the many stepping stones I will walk along my path to becoming a more complete person.    

I watched the sun rise again this morning and reflected on everything that's happened this last year.  I pondered my journey to this point and how far I've come since my last show.  I thought about how far I have to go still to achieve everything I want.  

And of course, I remembered my dad.  It's no coincidence that my second show has come exactly one year after the first - a year after his death.  I love you, and I miss you every day that the sun rises.  This one has been for you.


Friday, October 28, 2011

1 Day = Tomorrow!!

Holy crap, it's Friday.  How did that happen??

Today was the first time in quite a while that I woke up and didn't have to do any CARDIO!!!!  Woot woot!  Already I'm off to a good start ;)

I've been gradually waking up earlier and earlier this week so that I'm able to go to bed early tonight, get my full 9 hours of sleep, and get up early tomorrow fresh and rested.

I don't see too much change in my body since yesterday.  In fact, I may even look a bit softer?  Could it be the carbs, increase in calories, or lack of cardio?  Maybe it's just me.  One thing's for sure though - I am DARKER!

This morning I took my last shower (because the tanning agent comes off so easily with water, you don't shower at all the last day or so in order to preserve all the colour), and will be applying another 2-3 coats today.  Possibly one more tomorrow if I'm still not dark enough.  I'd ordered my Pro-Tan weeks ago, before I'd decided to do a second show, so hopefully I'll have enough to last me for both :S

Today's focus will be POSING.  I'll spend a few hours throughout the day practicing my quarter turns, stage presence, and endurance.  Aside from that, I'll clean the house, pick up some groceries, apply more tan, and take care of odds 'n ends like doing my nails and plucking my eyebrows lol.

I know there are a few other fitness bloggers out there who will be competing tomorrow as well:
Melissa at http://melissacunninghamifpapro.blogspot.com
and Tenicia at http://boobsbarbellsandbroccoli.blogspot.com

To those competitors and any others, I just want to wish you GOOD LUCK!!!!  We're going to be tired, and sticky, not to mention THIRSTY tomorrow, but it's all going to be worth it when we hear the crowd cheering for us for doing something that most people don't even dare dream of.  Congratulations in advance :)

Thursday, October 27, 2011

2/9 Days Out

Yesterday was amazing!  My last workout and cardio sessions were super focussed and energetic.  Sure, my strength is waaaay down, but I gave it everything I had left in me and left the gym dripping in brown-streaked sweat lol.  

I can see changes again today.  Sure, part of that is because of the tan, but I just feel tighter all over. You can't see it in these photos, but my lower body has also improved over the last few days.


Again, more weight loss this morning.  It'll be interesting to see what happens over the next few days.  Today my cardio is down to 30 minutes (as opposed to my usual 100) and of course there's no workout.  My calories are up to about 1,600 with meals consisting of chicken, tilapia, puffed quinoa, and macadamia nut oil (bye bye, vegetables!).  Water intake remains high (I've learned I can actually drink 10L in a day with ease) until tomorrow when it stops at 2pm.  

Our guest bathroom has become tanning central.  In this picture I have 2 layers of Pro-Tan on; to put it into perspective, I'll have about 6 or 7 and a top coat on-stage.  Speaking of which, it's about time for me to go re-apply!  

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

3/10 Days Out!

I need to stop looking at what fitness bloggers call "food porn".  Specifically, the naughtiness on http://cookiesandcups.com/ and http://ohsheglows.com/.  Some days it doesn't phase me at all to see all those fresh, delicious looking meals, knowing that someone somewhere in a magical (read: normal) place are actually getting to enjoy what I'm fantasizing about, hunched over my keyboard and face thisclose to the drool-covered monitor.....

Nope, some days it doesn't phase me at all.  But I would say the majority of my days are the "other" kinds of days.

Also, is there anything better than the smell of freshly baked bread?  I think not.

Moving on.

I woke up to a bit more weight loss this morning, and I can definitely see some more definition in my abs.  The only thing I didn't like about this picture is how little my side delts look.  I think that my shoulders are one of my best - if not THE best - body parts (abs come in a close second), so I'd love to see just a little more size on them.  Hopefully by the time I shed water the extra definition will really make them pop.

Today is my last workout (woot woot!), at least until next week when I do this all over again (DOH!).  The tanning process will begin today as well, and carbs are getting increased tomorrow.  I've purchased all of my show-day supplies, so I can basically just focus on myself and polishing up the next few days :)

Finally, just a quick shout-out to John who's been putting up with my crankiness/fatigue/moodiness the last few days, and for holding down the fort at home.  Thank you hun, love you! xox

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

4/11 Days Out

I apologize in advance if there are any typos or nonsensical sentences in this post.  I've been low carb the last couple days and it's definitely been showing!  Today I forgot my keys twice - once on my way out the door (got all the way to the lobby of the building before realizing I hadn't locked the door), then again at the gym, along with my sun glasses.  I had gone grocery shopping after my workout and got all the way home (on foot, by the way, carrying a backpack of food and 2x 4L jugs of water) when I realized I couldn't get into my apartment.  DOH!  Yesterday I met up with Tanya for a visit and thank goodness she knows me well, because I'm pretty sure I wasn't even completing my thoughts at some points lol.

On the bright side, lookie what I got!  This is basically my diet: tilapia, green vegetables, and quinoa puffs.  I may complain about being low-carb, but I've been eating so many veggies!!!  About 24oz throughout the day.  Hmmm, which one will I start with today.....?  Maybe the kale.



So to go back to yesterday, it was..... interesting.  I started my Water Shed pills and, as I mentioned, was on very low carbs.  Towards the middle of the day I got really tired and foggy, but at the time just chalked it up to having a busy morning.  But then in the evening I started experiencing horrible shakes, dizziness, and got really really sweaty!  It happened a couple times, each "episode" lasting about 30 minutes, and going away after I ate something.  I emailed Jay and asked if it might be the Water Shed pills, but he said that it was actually because of low blood sugar.  So I Googled "hypoglycemia" and wouldn'cha ya know it, I had all of the symptoms associated with a  hypoglycemic attack!  Makes sense then why I would feel better after eating.  Unfortunately there's not much I can do about it.... just gotta stick it out.  And I've been told to eat a bit of quinoa puffs if it becomes unbearable.  So that was an interesting little bodily experiment lol.  Can't say I've ever experienced that before!

ANYWAYS, moving along to what you're more interested in: progress pictures!  

I don't see any changes since yesterday, though the scale does read 1.5lbs lighter again.  I don't know where it's coming off, but no complaints here!

Every day has been a bit different so far, so I'm interested to see what today brings....